


Pinot Noir

by caixa



Series: Sour Grapes [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Adultery, Age Difference, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Blowjobs, Carolina Hurricanes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, M/M, Morally Ambiguous Character, Smut, mentions of family members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:29:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caixa/pseuds/caixa
Summary: Sebastian wonders how he would feel if his dad had taken one of his younger teammates home like this when he was little but quickly pushes back the thought. He needs a distraction from the goal drought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cam Ward and Sebastian Aho of the Carolina Hurricanes are literal saints, hard-working family-oriented Jesus-loving (I’m half guessing that one, Finns are not big on talking about their faith, it’s considered a private matter) Good Guys who have not done a wrong thing in their lives and never would.

 

The smallest frown, two vertical lines that crinkle between the expressive, straight brows give it out. Not necessarily to the reporters who interview Sebastian Aho in the locker room, he has pushed his cap deep enough over his forehead to shadow his eyes, and as he rubs the back of the cap with his hand, he pushes it even deeper.

“It’s not only my game, scoring goals”, he says, and goes on to explain the various ways he wants to help his team with. Creating plays, being there for defense as well as offense.

He’s either struggling to get his message through or he’s not a hundred per cent certain of it himself. Cam Ward is not sure which it is but during his years in the Carolina Hurricanes locker room he has seen enough young players sweating in front of microphones to know Aho is not comfortable.

Maybe it’s the contradiction in his words. Sebastian has concluded his answer “I want to help my team win”, and the interviewer has repeated the words, voice sounding like raised eyebrows. Sebastian’s means of helping the team win have not worked that well. They haven’t been exactly winning lately.

Wardo makes sure he catches the young player after the cameras have left.

“You know you’re playing well, kid”, he says as he steps next to Sebastian on their way out. Sebastian turns to look him in the eye, a bit wary and startled at first, like caught off guard, but his fresh, small face melts soon into something…  open, unveiled.

“Don’t let them make you doubt that”, Cam continues.

Sebastian chuckles at it and shakes his head. “Never”, he says.

Cam smiles a small warm smile, as much inwards to himself as to Sebastian. The kid has been in the country for over a year but it’s still rare to get more than one-word answers out of him.

The goalie extends his hand, gives Sebastian’s shoulder a short squeeze and a shake. Sebastian glances quickly at the hand on his shoulder, and like a perfectly natural reaction to Cam’s gesture, tilts his head to the side and brushes the back of the hand with his cheek.

“They’re not that wrong, though”, Ward says softly, careful with his tone of voice.        

Sebastian turns to look at him, lifting his cheek from Cam’s hand in a soft sweeping motion. Cam almost wishes he had stayed silent because the he already misses the feeling of the smooth cheek that still lingers on his skin.

Sebastian looks at him questioningly but doesn’t say a word out loud.

“Asking about the goals, I mean”, Cam explains. “You wanna help the team, and what are we lacking?” Cam’s hand is still on Sebastian’s shoulder, he extends his index finger and strokes Sebastian’s jawline with it. “But don’t worry, kid. They will come. You’re doing great. It’s coming, I know it is.”

Sebastian casts his eyes down on the carpet ahead of them and nods slowly. Cam gives his shoulder another soft shake before he detaches his hand. There’s a limit to how long he can keep touching his quiet teammate without risking that they both get self-conscious about it. The fact that he even thinks about it probably tells he’s already pushing the limit.

“I just want you to have fun, Sebastian, okay? Enjoy the game. Be a bit selfish, even. When you started enjoying the ride last year… it was hell of a pleasure to watch.” Cam bows forward to see if his words sink in and it seems so, Sebastian’s eyes flash warmly at his and he greets Cam with a grateful little smile.

 

Once Wardo starts paying attention it gets hard to ignore it. It shows in glimpses but he’s sure of it: Sebastian seeks touch, attention, craves reassurance from closeness.

Mostly the trait keeps hidden.  Sebastian sits up straight, detached, keeps his hands to himself. But then, suddenly: he presses to Jordan’s side when they happen to sit together on the couch in the players’ lounge, like a vine leaning to a pole. Or rubs his forehead to Scott Darling’s massive chest when Wardo’s goalkeeping partner draws him in a hug for some reason.

Sebastian is not that obvious, though. He is not a dog that will skip and yap and wag its tail when it wants to get noticed. Sebastian is more like a cat that strolls around minding its own business until it casually curls itself on somebody’s lap or snuggles up to their side when they least expect it.

That’s what happens on the flight back from Columbus. Sebastian stands up from his usual spot next to Teuvo. He walks past Cam to the toilet. On his way back he eyes at the empty seat next to him and sits down in one smooth move.

Cam lifts the armrest up from between the seats and lifts his arm.

Sebastian leans in, finds a comfortable slot for his shoulder under Cam’s arm, rests his head between Cam’s chest and shoulder, snuggles close. Cam smiles down on him, Sebastian turns his face up towards Cam and returns the smile.

 

It’s past midnight when they arrive at Raleigh. Cam is going home to an empty house after the flight, his family is away for the weekend. No morning practice tomorrow, rest is a priority when games are back to back, a home game is coming in less than 20 hours now.

“Would you come over?” he asks Sebastian as they step down from the plane. It comes out on impulse, like some outside, or maybe inner, subconscious, force was moving his lips without any intention on his side. He partly hopes the young Finn will want to stick to his routines before a game day and decline.

“Sure”, Sebastian says without missing a beat.

Some outside – or inside – force moves Cam’s face to a smile. He half expects his heart to be racing so hard it shows as a tremble on his throat, but he feels surprisingly calm.

Maybe it’s a good thing. If something was wrong here, he would be nervous, right?

 

Sebastian is smiley and talkative during the ride, happy after the win, relaxed knowing they both had a good game – even though his first goal of the season was not meant to happen tonight. They break down the plays and gossip about the opposing players, and Cam goes on to tell anecdotes about the former Finnish players on their team.

Sebastian listens more than speaks. He sits leaning back to the passenger side door, keeps his eyes steadily on Cam’s face, nodding and chuckling along his stories like he was fully focused on absorbing the older player’s notions, points of view and subtle, gentle jokes.

Cam looks at Sebastian’s knee. It rests against the console between them. Cam wishes for a moment that he had one of these old school cars with a wide front seat. Sebastian’s knee would press to the side of his thigh right now, or maybe he would have hiked his shins to his lap. Cam would steer the car with one hand, resting his hand on the legs.

He clears his throat as he turns the car to his driveway. It goes over the curb with a soft bump.

 

Wardo’s house is different from the places of the younger players Sebastian has visited. It’s not only because it’s a house, not an apartment; it’s a real _home_ , a settled-down grown-up person’s family home. Cam turns on lights as he walks inside, brightness fills the hallway and the rooms. Sebastian follows close in his wake, eyes sweeping the walls – light fixtures, art, framed photos. Wedding pics, family portraits, baby pics.

So normal, so wholesome.

Sebastian wonders how he would feel if his dad had taken some of his younger teammates home like this when he was little but quickly pushes back the thought. He refuses to feel guilty about something he feels gravitated to, like his body was searching a way to fill a need he is only vaguely aware of. It’s like craving for fruit and extra hours of sleep and only realizing later on that the flu has been creeping on and you are probably low on vitamin C’s.

He needs a distraction from the goal drought he stubbornly refuses to talk about. The game was good, but he knows he would ride higher on the positive buzz if one of his good and numerous shots had gone in.

Wardo is a good guy, a genuine guy. Nice and caring. Wants him to have fun.

Wants to watch over him. Has been watching over him.

And, besides, played a hell of a game, made some major saves for them. Sebastian has always been one to rejoice in his teammates’ accomplishments, collective or individual.

See? So many more reasons point to the direction of GO ON than to the direction of TURN AWAY.

 

“A snack before bed?” Cam asks in the kitchen. The next second he realizes what he just said. “I mean, it’s late. What would you have?” he hurries to add. He feels much too embarrassed for someone his age to be so worried about being too blatant.

Sebastian’s eyes dart to a bowl of fruit in the corner of a long kitchen counter. “A banana”, he points as he seats himself on a stool by the breakfast bar. “Please. Do you have milk?”

Cam rolls his eyes only slightly as he picks up the requested fruit and opens the fridge for milk. It’s a bit too much like feeding his kids, but at the same time not at all like it. Sebastian sits up straight on his stool, has tossed his suit jacket on the next one, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves. His forearms still have a trace of summer tan in November, and he says his ‘thank you’ very softly and politely and his strong hand curls easily around the cool glass.

He chucks everything down quickly, hides a yawn. Cam picks up the glass and puts it in the sink, drops the banana peels into the container for organic waste, circles the breakfast bar to get behind Sebastian. Cam grabs Sebastian’s jacket from the stool and puts is hand on Sebastian’s back to guide him further.

“You’re tired”, he says to Sebastian. “I’ll borrow you some shorts and a T-shirt.”

Sebastian turns around in his touch, looks upwards at him from under his dark brows. He blinks a couple of times, gives Cam an amused look and lets out a light laughter.

“I’m not that tired”, he says, “and I have my luggage. But thanks for caring”.

Cam keeps his eyes locked to Sebastian’s for a moment of silence. “Okay”, he says and lets his fingers squeeze Sebastian’s back through the thin dress shirt.

Sebastian turns ahead, chuckles and lets himself be led forward. Cam still has Sebastian’s jacket in his hand and tosses it on a chair in the hallway. He slides his hand up Sebastian’s back, squeezes his shoulder close to the neck. It feels firm and warm.

 

Sebastian halts by a large canvas print of a photograph in the hallway, outside of what he guesses are bedroom doors. “That’s a cool picture”, he says.

It’s a newborn baby curled inside a goalkeeper’s glove. Sebastian tilts his head to read the text on the glove.

“It’s you.” Sebastian turns to Cam. He takes Cam’s arm by the wrist and lifts it next to its counterpart in the picture. He nods thoughtfully as if really assessing the similarity, traces the hairy skin with his thumb, and turns his smiling face back to Cam.

“Yeah, it’s me”, Cam confirms. “Or it’s really more my son than me. And you have the weirdest way to flirt, has anybody ever told you that?”

The veteran goalie can’t really read Sebastian right now. Is the guy looking for a father figure, and if he is, should Cam be worried?

Sebastian keeps his hold of Cam’s wrist and runs his other hand on the length of the forearm, the live counterpart of that visible in the blown-up photo. His fingers are warm but they make the hair on Cam’s arm stand up.

Sebastian tilts his head to the side. “No”, he says, “It _is_ you. It’s a baby picture but it’s a portrait of you. It shows who you are. ‘Cos it shows what you love.”

Cam looks down at him warmly, stretching a comfortable, tingling silence. “Wow”, he says finally and smiles. “You know your shit, Seb.”

Cam twists his arm inside Sebastian’s loose hold until they stand face to face, close enough for Cam to put his free hand on Sebastian’s waist. Sebastian is still clutching his wrist but his other hand has found its way up to the back of Cam’s neck, stroking the short stubble of his hairline.

Cam places his other hand on the other side of Sebastian’s waist, toned sides feel like living marble under his touch. Sebastian’s eyes look straight into his, the gaze is intense, he does the half-nervous thing he sometimes does with his mouth, rubs his lips together to moisturize them, when he stops they look red and soft. Cam rubs Sebastian with his thumb through the shirt.

“I’m going to kiss you now, Sebastian. Tell me if you don’t want it and I will stop”, he says quietly, almost whispering.

Sebastian almost beats him to it. Fingers curl hard into the dip in the back of Cam’s neck, Sebastian pulls  Cam’s head down and leans up to meet his lips. There’s a sweeping tongue against Cam’s lips like asking permission to enter, he welcomes it to it chase his own inside his mouth.

Gosh, the boy doesn’t start slow. Cam joins in his rhythm, Sebastian’s mouth is slick and wet, sour and sweet. Cam can definitely taste hints of banana and milk. Sebastian’s hand leaves his wrist and crawls up his forearm, Cam feels fingers squeezing his bicep, the other hand palming his scalp, fingertips rubbing the back of his head. Sebastian inches closer, aligns their feet until their thighs touch, his body is small and tight and radiates heat, it’s intimate and dizzying.

Cam leaves the kiss gently, straightens his neck a notch, lifts one hand from Sebastian’s waist to the delicate chin. They are both a bit out of breath, glistening lips that have only just warmed up curl into surprised, shy smiles, warm little chuckles bubble out. Cam leans his forehead to Sebastian’s, rocks him slightly, shifting weight from one foot to another, tracing the defined outline of Sebastian’s lips with a fingertip.

“You’re so fucking hot, Sebastian, d’you even know that?” he whispers, licks the aftertaste of the kiss from his lips, thumbs at the small scar below Sebastian’s bottom lip.

“So are you”, Sebastian says softly but the words come out lisping because Cam’s fingers weigh down his lip. Cam feels his voice as a vibration on his fingertips, on his face. No way can Sebastian mean what he says, Cam thinks, no way does a mesmerizingly cute 20-year-old think of him as hot, he’s an average guy in his thirties, but he’ll embrace it.

 

Cam calculates the necessary moves. One tie, Sebastian’s; Cam pocketed his on the plane. Two belts, the buttons of two shirts, shoes.

Sebastian turns his head, catches Cam’s fingertips between his lips. Cam reacts instantly, tightens his grip of Sebastian’s waist, pushes two fingers in his mouth, sternly and relentlessly, see how the boy will respond.

Sebastian’s eyes go veiled and glossy, he drops his hand from Cam’s neck to his side, gropes blindly at the fabric of Cam’s shirt, gathers some in his fist, clings to it like he wants to use it as a lifeline to pull himself closer.

Cam takes a firm grip of the nape of Sebastian’s neck, pushes a third finger in the wet mouth, reaches deep, god it’s great, slick and wet, coarse surface of the tongue curling to them. He can swear that he feels a twitch against his thigh, it’s Sebastian’s hardening dick getting the message, and if he’s right then this is so good and right, this is going on more perfectly than he could ever have imagined.

Sebastian sucks his fingers, Cam keeps his head in place by a firm hold of the slender neck. One of Sebastian’s hands lets go of Cam’s shirt, the other one keeps kneading it, untucking it bit by bit from his pants. The free hand wanders down, stops on Cam’s crotch, straight out squeezes his dick through the dress pants. Cam feels sparks behind his eyes.

Cam pulls his fingers back, wet and slick with saliva, crashes his mouth to Sebastian’s instead, pants him dirty mindless whispers between kisses. “Such a hungry little thing ain’t you Seabass? I had no idea.” He pulls Sebastian’s tie loose with one hand, it unties and drops on the floor.

Cam starts walking them backwards, groping the wall for the door, opens it when he reaches the knob. It’s the guest bedroom, he doesn’t think Sebastian minds. The bed is wide and it’s always kept made with fresh sheets, just in case relatives from Canada drop in the town on short notice. They seldom do.

Sebastian’s hand has found the outline of Cam’s dick, he keeps stroking the length through the fabric, back and forth, even, relentless friction. Cam doesn’t want to stop him, but shit, he needs to get out of the pants, soon.

He detaches from Sebastian’s mouth with a gentle bite, scraping the bottom lip between his teeth. He focuses on unbuttoning a few buttons from the top of Sebastian’s shirt and pulls it over his head. He is glorious, creamy white smooth skin over the toned torso, pretty and lean but much less lanky than a year ago, not that Cam has deliberately been checking out the development. You just learn to notice things when you look at the rookies and try to assess how much use they are helping to defend your goal.

He repeats the stripping act with his own shirt while Sebastian works with his belt buckle, goes on to toe, kick and shake off his shoes (at this point he realizes that Sebastian has already reflexively taken his off earlier, it’s a weird thing Finns often do), almost giggly at the fuss.

Sebastian is sensible enough to sit on the bed to undress his pants, socks and underwear; Cam drops his finally on the floor, approaches the bed in a few fluid steps.

Sebastian stops Cam there placing his hands on the both sides of his hips. He looks up at him with his deep brown eyes, serious and intense, bows down to press a warm, soft kiss on the cut of Cam’s hip and looks up again; he gives another kiss, lower, eyelids hooding he eyes like he was kissing something holy in a church, and makes the eye contact again. He curls his hand slowly around the base of Cam’s erect cock, looking him steadily in the eye, and gives a twirling lick around the crown, never breaking the eye contact, and it’s _Christ_ , it’s shit-hot, is this something all kids do these days or is it just this one?

 _Twirl_. Another lick. Then Sebastian lifts his head, guides his other hand to the small of Cam’s back, pulls him softly. “Come to bed”, he says in his silky little voice, lifts his feet on the bed and backs on all fours to make room for Cam to lie down.

Cam leans to the pillows against the headboard, half-sitting, reaches for Sebastian’s neck with one hand. Sebastian follows his lead, crawls closer and leans in for a kiss. He doesn’t stay there for long, though; Sebastian hikes a knee between Cam’s thighs, guides the goalie’s knees apart to make room for the other one, and trails down with his mouth, pressing kisses on the stubble on his chin, on his neck, on the chest amidst short dark hair; his eyes are hooded now, his soft, moist mouth travels south with not too many stops.

The kisses intensify on the plain of flat, hard lower belly narrowing to the V-shape between the hips. Cam tries to make a mental note to himself to check if they are enough to leave marks but right now he is not going to do anything to stop any of this. Sebastian’s mouth takes little nibbles around his cock before the lips open lusciously on the base of the shaft, licking and sucking their way up towards the tip, and once Sebastian reaches it, oh sweetness, he eats him down well halfway in one go, lips squeezing around his cock, tongue working on its surface and it’s pure bliss.

 

Sebastian starts bobbing his head back and forth, a little deeper down on each move, the salty taste and the veined hard flesh of their goaltender’s cock fill his mouth, all the way to the back of his tongue and palate. It gets harder to make too acrobatic moves with the tip of his tongue but Cam seems to appreciate the hell out of all the lapping and slithering he manages to do.

Blood flows to Sebastian’s head in his crouched position, the push deep in his mouth makes him salivate excessively and makes his eyes water but he doesn’t care. He loves every little sign of response he gets, the slimy drops of liquid forming in the slit of Cam’s cock, the panting, moaning and half-swallowed curses he hears, Cam calls him baby a lot.

Snot runs from his nose and pools above his upper lip, he has to let go of Cam’s cock to wipe it off with the back of his hand. He keeps his other hand wrapped around the shaft for the pause and pants, he had no idea he had gotten so out of breath.

He digs in again and thrives on the deep _oooh shit oh yes_ he hears from above his head.

 

It takes all Cam’s willpower not to indulge in the sensational mouth working on him. Oh yes, fuck, he’d love to climax down that sweet pretty throat because Sebastian is definitely taking this to that direction. But once he rides through an orgasm after this kind of a build-up it will make him so worn out that he’ll just zone out boneless and leave his partner neglected and probably pissed, at least disappointed.

He can’t let that happen.

He nudges Sebastian’s forehead with one hand, tugs gently at the hair his fingers are tangled in.

“Hey, babe, come here”, he says and gets Sebastian to lift his head, let the erect cock out of its slippery wet trap. Sebastian parts from it in slow, trance-like movements, a stringy mixture of precum and saliva stretches between the head of the cock and the tip of his lip until it breaks into tiny droplets.

Cam helps Sebastian upwards until the little tight body lies on top of him. Sebastian looks at Cam with his big brown eyes, naturally light brown lashes glued into dark bunches with tears, long and pretty.

“Oh sweetheart, that feels so fucking good you’ll make me pass out before we get anywhere”, he says huskily, combing Sebastian’s hair back from his temple with his fingers. “Half-assed is not your thing, huh?”

That demure smirk on the blushing, puffy, teared face, a chuckle, almost smug. God, he’s pretty.

“No.”

Cam has to hug Sebastian and let out a short soft laughter into his hair. He’s too charming in his smug pride and Cam can’t wait to see him lose all his guards.

 

He cups Sebastian’s chin and lifts it to a kiss. He can taste that Sebastian has been sucking cock and likes the obscenity of the thought. Sebastian squirms close to him, his knees are on the mattress one on each side of Cam’s thigh, and Cam can feel an erection pressing to his hip. Sebastian makes a slow riding movement, grinds to him in the rhythm of their kiss.

Cam likes the feel of it, very much, he slides his hands down Sebastian’s back, slows down to enjoy the glorious curve where it arches into round skater’s buttocks, and grabs two good handfuls of firm young ass. Sebastian moans into his mouth, louder when Cam tightens his grip, his fingers spreading the cheeks apart. Sebastian sucks his tongue so intensely it almost scrapes against the teeth, makes a wailing moan and grinds harder.

Cam bends his knee between the boy’s legs and draws it closer to his body, letting his thigh press against Sebastian’s ass; the response he gets is most gratifying and encouraging, Sebastian sits against it so nicely and eagerly, still seeking friction for his cock, too.

Sebastian breaks away from the kiss, leans his forehead to Cam’s cheek. Sweaty hair hangs to Cam’s face, glues to the skin. Sebastian’s hips keep rutting against Cam’s lap, his lips move like trying to form words. They manage to do that, in thick, breathy voice.

“You gonna fuck me Wardo? Cam?” comes out in labored bursts of exhaled air.

 _Oh sweetheart_. “Do you want it, Sebastian?  Cause it would be wonderful.”

Sebastian bites his bottom lip. “Yea… umm, yes”, he pants out.

“You gotta wait a sec, sweetheart. “

Sebastian nods but looks questioning somewhere under his sex haze.

“I mean we need stuff”, Cam explains. Sebastian collects himself, rolls to the side from his lap. Cam steps quickly across the hall to the bathroom, finds lube and some age-old condoms, he hopes they are not expired.

Sebastian takes a look at the condoms and frowns slightly, lips closed tight. “No”, he says and looks at him pleadingly, “Please? Like we’re clean, right?”

Cam feels a sting of guilt for being so relieved.

“Okay, baby”, he says, ditches the wrappers to the nightstand and settles on the bed, same half-sitting position in the middle, the lube close at hand.  Sebastian straddles him easily, stands on his knees over Cam’s waistline, pale and small and gorgeous, a quirky mix of fiery determination and hazy lust in his dark eyes.

Cam pours the clear gel slowly on his hand, keeping his eyes on Sebastian. “Do you want it like this, Sebastian?” he strokes Sebastian’s thigh with his clean hand. “Would you ride me?”

He slides the dry hand all the way up to the groin, sweeps the balls, wraps his fingers around the standing cock, gives it one smooth stroke from root to tip, appreciating how Sebastian shivers and gasps at the touch. Cam looks at him questioningly, Sebastian says nothing but suddenly nods repeatedly like he had just woken up. “Yes”, he blurts.

Cam rubs his hands together to make both lusciously slick and repeats his sweep the other way, the lubricated circle of fingers and palm meeting the exposed head of Sebastian’s cock first, sliding slowly to the bottom, scooping the scrotum in a wet cradle for a moment, going all the way back to massage around the hole, steady, warm hand.

“You feel so good, Sebastian”, he says and Sebastian relaxes to his touch, pushes his ass to Cam’s hand and leans his upper body closer. Cam rewards both moves: he lifts his head from the pillows to lean up to a kiss, and drapes his other arm around Sebastian, placing his hand on his ass where the other hand is already working.

A deep open-mouth kiss makes Sebastian relax further: it’s easy to slide one finger through the tight ring, halfway at first, and after a little wait Sebastian fucks himself onto it down to the knuckle. Cam keeps massaging the rim with another finger, adds it to the first one; Sebastian gasps but goes on kissing Cam and riding his fingers.

Sebastian is so active and beautiful, on all fours over Cam. The kiss gets sloppy and disjointed when he focuses on what happens on the other end, follows pliantly the stretching fingers. He raises his body to sit up a bit higher, fumbles for Cam’s cock behind his back, studies its shape with his fingers, thumbs at the sensitive bulges and creases, his own cock erect in front of him, almost mauve against the cream white belly, good Lord it’s glorious.

Cam gets some more lube, squeezes it on his cock behind Sebastian’s back. Some lands on Sebastian’s hands and he takes the hint, goes on spreading it on Cam with gentle sweeps, partly clumsy because he’s not looking over his shoulder.

Sebastian’s hole eats Cam’s fingers softened, open, still so beautifully round and tight. Cam would love to get a look at it; the downside to his comfortable position is that he can’t. Is it rosy pink, succulent blushing red or rapidly darkening flesh color throughout? That will have to wait for the next time.

He’s getting greedy. They are barely into _this_ time.

“Whenever you’re ready, baby”, Cam says, slowly pulling out the fingers, putting his hands on both sides of Sebastian’s hips, stroking them evenly, thumbs enjoying the beautiful cut of the hip. It’s such a privilege to touch and see him up close like this; Sebastian is never one of those young hockey guys who flaunt their masculine beauty around publicly, parading around shirtless, pants hanging low below their waist, barely covering their ass-crack and pubes. No: he hides the strong, tight package that his agile body is under oversize t-shirts, only occasionally treating the people around him with something more revealing or fitted.

“Help me”, Sebastian says so adorably that it sends another warm flush of blood straight to Cam’s cock, how will he not burst in seconds once he gets inside this sweet boy because he’s fucking perfect. Cam helps, steers his cock to the opening, keeps it aligned with one hand, steadies and guides Sebastian with the other hand on his hip.

Sebastian slides down slowly. He pauses to adjust when the widest point of Cam’s arrow head enters him but goes on soon. His face lives like rippling surface of water, from focused pout to a worried grimace to a bewildered smile and Cam loves the flow of expressions, devours every single one of them with his eyes.

Sebastian straddles him carefully, rooted firmly on the mattress on his knees and toes. He supports himself with one hand that rests lightly on Cam’s hipbone and reaches back with the other hand, touches Cam’s cock where it’s entering him, as if to make sure it’s aligned right and see how much there still is to go.

Or then he just wants to touch Cam in more ways than one and Cam surely appreciates it, the lubricated fingers stroking the slippery shaft while that hot and tight velvety ass takes him in, eating him like a snake its prey. Sebastian breaks out in little beads of sweat, they start to form on his pores, glisten all over his skin. He looks at Cam but the gaze is foggy, unfocused. His earlobes are blushing, his pretty lips are darkened and parted, he breathes hard. His hips draw a cautious little circle, like he’s literally screwing Cam’s cock further inside his ass, and slowly, slowly he sits down all the way to the saddle.

Oh sweet fuck, what a hot little gem. The ass presses to Cam’s hips so tightly, he feels Sebastian’s hand on his balls now, he fondles them at the same time as he starts the smallest riding movement, the muscled thighs flex to lift him up and lower him down, up and down, in and out, sweet friction adds to the squeeze on Cam’s cock. Fluttering fingers on his balls, that controlled riding, Sebastian is fucking playing him, pleasuring him so intensely but still teasing him, serving him the second course of the most delicious appetizers he can think of but it only makes him hungry for raw meat.

Cam shifts a bit closer to the headboard to lift his torso and yanks Sebastian along. He puts his hands on Sebastian’s ass, little fingers under his buttocks, lets his fingertips sink in, and roughly lifts Sebastian higher. Cam digs his heels in the bed for good support, bends his knees and pushes his hips up, fucks vigorously upwards into Sebastian. The skin of his pelvis spanks tautly against the sweet firm ass, wet lube squelchs obscenely and Sebastian moans uncontrollably on each ruthless thrust.

Cam loves him loud, loves how flushed and sweaty Sebastian is getting. “You like it harder, baby? You take it harder”, he says. “Show me.” He keeps his grip tight on Sebastian’s ass on the next thrust in and lowers himself back to the bed, Sebastian sinks with him.

Sebastian goes on riding, this time boldly and frantically, no hesitation in his physical, indulgent search for pleasure.

The flow of Sebastian’s movement goes from slow up and down bobbing to twisting and rocking around Cam’s cock as if to feel it in different angles inside him. It’s incredible, Cam sweats and moans, a scorching flame has come to flesh in his lap, dancing and fluttering and giving its sweet heat around his cock. And what a flesh it is, to feel the muscle movement of Sebastian’s thighs and shins against his hips, to see the core at work when Sebastian’s torso leans back. He is so fully absorbed in this, head thrown back, sweaty hair hanging, eyes hooded, open lips releasing erratic, breathy curses, hisses and moans.

Cam supports him with his hand on the curve of his ass. He touches Sebastian’s hand with his other hand, takes it and guides it to Sebastian’s standing cock. Sebastian lifts his head from its thrown back position and looks at him.

Cam curls Sebastian’s hand around the boy’s erection. “Touch yourself, baby. Please let me see it”, Cam pants to him. He’s hot and getting close to the edge, it won’t take much longer, and he needs to see Sebastian come.

Sebastian goes on seamlessly, has no hesitation in jacking his cock in front of Cam. Cam keeps his hand around Sebastian’s at first but lets the boy do the thing his way and just admires, strokes Sebastian’s thighs and squeezes his buttocks with his hands, Sebastian’s hole milks his cock, throbbing around him. The boy fondles his own balls with a few fingers, thumb and index finger circled around the base of is cock, and slowly the starts drawing whole slick fist along the shaft, accelerating the rhythm to match the thrusting and grinding.

Soon pace falls into an uncoordinated, sweet, messy chaos.

It’s a beautiful, loud finale. Sebastian slams down and freezes there, throat gagging silently at first; then the slit of his cock spits out the first splash of warm cum and he shouts out a primitive, raw roar, beautiful mouth opened into a beastly cry. White slick blotches smear Cam’s chest and abs, Sebastian’s ass clenches and releases, throbs around his cock and it sends him to heaven, he comes inside it, squeezing the boy tight against his lap, fingertips dug deep in the flesh of his buttocks.

Sebastian slumps down on Cam’s chest, catching his breath, lifts his hand to curl his arms around Cam’s neck but they slump down halfway, hang from Cam's shoulders clumsily like paws. Cam eases his softening cock out, cooling jizz starts turning sticky and messy and glues their skins together in patches.

“Shower?” Cam asks. Sebastian nods lazily against his neck. “Gimme a sec”, he mumbles, turns his other cheek to rest on Cam’s chest and dozes off.

 

<> 

 

Sebastian wakes up in the morning snuggled to Cam’s side, one leg and one arm thrown over him. He peels his cheek carefully off Cam’s chest where his skin is clung to it, glued by drool or sweat, he’s not sure and it’s too embarrassing to give too much thought to it.

He wanders off to the hallway and finds a bathroom, pees, washes his hands and face and leans his head down to drink straight from the tap when the door opens. He gets up hurriedly and turns towards the door, startled, hits the corner of his mouth on the tap.

“Ouch!” he instinctively touches the sore spot.

                                                                                                                      

Cam smiles reassuringly from the doorway and steps softly into Sebastian’s space. “Easy, dear”, he says, lifts Sebastian’s hand off his face, studies the skin around his lips, brushes the hit spot gently with his fingertips. “Let me get you a glass.”

“No, it’s alright”, Sebastian says, mildly embarrassed.

Cam smiles at him, Sebastian has a vague feeling he’s amused by Sebastian acting so shy after last night but Sebastian can’t help it, he is still collecting himself from being caught off guard. Cam reaches past him to a cabinet on the wall, finds a plastic cup, fills it with water and hands it to Sebastian. Sebastian drinks gratefully and puts the cup down on the marble tabletop.

“Thanks”, he says.

“That shower now?” Cam asks, hand already on the sliding glass door of the spacious shower cabinet. He pushes it slowly to the side, barely using force, it opens with a squeak. Sebastian steps inside past him, casting a pointed look at him on the way, not completely sure if this is what is expected of him but willing to play along with as much confidence as he can.

 

Sebastian tilts his head back, closes his eyes, water lands all over his face and chest, flows down his body in streams. He blows out little droplets from his lips when he exhales, water soaks his hair black, drips from the ends. He is so effortlessly beautiful like that, Cam has to cup his smooth chin and kiss him under the flowing shower, drink that water from his wet lips, peck it from his cheekbones. Sebastian lifts his chin up and stretches his neck to reach up to the kiss, mouth soft and wet and generously open.

Cam’s hands glide easily on the wet skin, and Sebastian inches closer, playing with the angle of the kiss. His tongue slithers around, the agile moves remind Cam of a small fish lurking around underwater rocks and plants.

Sebastian detaches from the kiss, pulls back with a smile, shakes wet hair back from his forehead. He wipes reflexively water off his face before he leans in again, this time pressing his lips on Cam’s bearded jawline, tracing it with kisses from one side to the other. His hands are on Cam’s waist, he is definitely close enough to feel how Cam is hardening against his lower belly, and he doesn’t back off which is much too promising, and his lips on Cam’s collarbone are making even more promises.

An oh, he doesn’t fail to keep the promises he's given the next moment. Sebastian kneels down on the wet tiles and catches the head of Cam’s cock in his mouth, not even using his hands. Cam twitches to life, the half hard cock grows to full mast in seconds. Strings of water fall on Sebastian’s head, Cam places his hand on the wet crown of hair, sweeps back the strands that are plastered on the forehead.

Sebastian’s mouth is so slick and warm and pliant, his lips and tongue eating him in a steady rhythm, hands resting on the sides of Cam’s hips. He pauses for breath, bows his head back from under the shower to wipe some of the water from his eyes, glances quickly at Cam, blinks drops off his eyelashes – and takes the cock back in his mouth, giving a long lick to the underside of the shaft as it sinks deep inside again.

Cam lets his fingers tangle with the wet hair and appreciates how it goads Sebastian to suck him harder. He tries a little movement, rocks his hips slightly back and forth, and Sebastian is easy with it, lifts his chin instinctively for better access. Does he want it, does he do it to be nice, or to impress, Cam’s not questioning the reason, he seizes the opportunity, tightens his grip of the soaked crown and fucks that incredible little mouth.

 He’s not going to last long, just the look of that pretty face sucking his cock is a lot, and he’d so like to see it, shit, he can’t just – he has to ask.

“Can you take it on your face? Would you?” Cam asks as he tugs Sebastian’s head gently by the hair to tilt it back. Sebastian lets go of his cock, nods, water sprinkles off his head. “Umm, yeah”, he replies in a slack voice.

Cam keeps his grip on the hair to guide Sebastian’s face away out of the flow of water, gives his cock a couple of vigorous strokes, gasps and lets out a long moan. He rides the wave of release like watching a dream rather than reality although the reality pulsates in his groin. His thick seed lands in a blotted stripe across Sebastian’s cheekbone, his dark pink, parted lips, pointy cute chin.

Cam looks at it in awe, panting, until Sebastian puts his face under the shower and the white cum is washed down the drain.

 

“Are they coming to the game?” Sebastian asks over breakfast. The question of when he should leave has been burning in the back of his head most of the morning but the words have died before he gets them out, and even now he can’t bring himself to say any names.

Cam stops a forkful of eggs in midair. “No”, he says, “I’m picking 'em up at the airport tomorrow night.” He takes the bite and chews carefully. Sebastian looks away, sipping his orange juice. They’re sitting at the table, Cam wanted to serve the breakfast there because the chairs are more comfortable than stools. The table is wide and Sebastian sits far away.

Cam reaches for Sebastian's hand nevertheless, strokes his wrist.

“Don’t worry”, he says, for the lack of better words.

Sebastian smiles weakly. "I don't", he says.

 

<to be continued>

 **>** **Next:** Hawks get them on overtime and Sebastian forgets something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super grateful for any kind of feedback! I'll gladly correct my tags, grammar or spelling or add warnings of needed. So whatever you spot, do have your say.  
> Talk in the comment box, or if you prefer to stay anonymous, come and yell me at my tumblr, caixxa.tumblr.com (the messy main blog!) or badhockeymom.tumblr.com (um, hockey stuff, obviously)
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope to see you soon ^♡^


	2. Chapter 2

 

“ _Missä vitussa sä oot ollu?_ Where the fuck have you been?” Teuvo huffs in Finnish on his spot in the locker room. “Dude, you didn’t answer your phone.”

Sebastian shrugs his shoulders. “I forgot to charge it”, he mutters, fumbling with his gear.

“I was going to ask if you want to share a ride, and then I thought you were in early because your car wasn’t home but when I got here it was already here. But you just came in.”

Sebastian can’t help it, his lips curl into a hint of a mischievous smile that flashes in his eyes, too. An image of last night burns his brain, sending a heated flame through his insides.

“I had a ride”, he says, the smile curling a bit higher on the other side, almost breaking into a giggle.

Teuvo shakes his head and bows to draw on his socks. “Whatever”, he mumbles. If he is going to ask something further, the moment is soon gone; Teuvo is gestured to go talk to media about his thoughts before encountering his former team on the ice.

“It’s gonna be fun”, he says to the cameras, a nice professional smile on his lips. Sebastian is relieved.

 

If it’s fun for a moment, it dies in the end. Hawks get them on overtime.

Wardo doesn’t even ask if Sebastian wants to go to his own home. Instead, he waits for the moody, drained kid to collect his things and guides him to his car.

Sebastian sits on the passenger seat and looks ahead in silence. The flashing streetlights cast dark shadows under his eyes.

Cam keeps both hands on the wheel, steals only occasional glances to his side. Sebastian looks so fragile he would like to hug him, at least cup his knee or shoulder to prevent him from falling to pieces.

 

This time Cam helps Sebastian’s jacket off his shoulders as soon as they get inside the house and hangs it on a coat rack.

Sebastian sighs. He stands still, shoulders drooped. His eyes are cast downwards, he looks around himself blindly like he was too tired to focus on anything.

Cam puts his own jacket away and pulls Sebastian in an embrace. He smells the generic locker room shower shampoo in Sebastian’s hair, feels the rhythm of his breath under his arms. It’s steady at first but hitches, and Cam can feel a jolt on the shoulders. There’s a sharp inhale, and a warm moist drop blots through Cam’s shirt to his collarbone where Sebastian’s face is pressed to his neck.

Sebastian’s cry is so silent, so held-back that it’s heartbreaking; Cam can only hug him tighter, stroke the smooth hair. He rocks Sebastian sideways, hushes him in barely audible whispers.

“It’s okay, Sebastian. It’s gonna be okay.” Cam repeats the same words quietly, strokes Sebastian’s back to ease his trembling.

Eventually Sebastian sniffles, lifts his head and takes a wavering step back. He wipes his wet cheeks and eyes with his fingers, with the sides of his hands.

“Sorry”, he says.

Cam hugs him again. “Oh my God, Sebastian, you don’t get to say you’re sorry for that. OT losses are always frustrating. And you carry an enormous pressure for no reason. You’re human, Sebastian”, he says, lips close to Sebastian’s temple, some silky threads of hair glue to his lips on every inhale. “You’ve done huge things for us already. And you do it all so far from our home, your country. I remember that I was terrified to move to the US for the first time when I came here to play, and I was an English-speaking Canadian.”

_And you’re young. You are a kid. Kids get to cry_.

Something keeps him from saying that thought out loud. Instead he kisses Sebastian’s forehead and pats his shoulder.

“We’re going to cheer you up, okay? I don’t want to see you sad in my house”, he says.  “Come on.”

He guides Sebastian to the kitchen with a hand on his back, smiling a reassuring smile at the sad brown eyes. Sebastian nods, blinking his eyes repeatedly to dispel the residue of the tears from his lashes.

Sebastian climbs up on the barstool exactly as the previous night, opens his cufflinks and pulls the sleeves up before leaning to the counter with his elbows. Cam hands him a glass of water before he turns to open the glass door of a fitted wine cabinet, eyes at the rows of bottles and picks one in his hand, looks at the label with a smile of recognition lighting up his face.

“This one”, he says, showing the bottle quickly to Sebastian who nods in approval, not that he really has had time to study Cam’s selection.

Cam cuts the capsule of the bottle and starts driving a corkscrew into the cork. “You wanna go change?” he asks. “This could use a moment to breathe.”

 

When Sebastian comes back in his borrowed T-shirt and shorts Cam has poured wine in two glasses and is cutting thin slices of cold beef, hammering them quickly on a chopping board with his fist and spreading them on a plate. Sebastian hops on a stool and Cam looks at him from under his brows, a quiet smirk on his face, and cuts a few more slices to fill the plate.

He pushes one of the glasses under Sebastian’s nose and picks up the other one.

“Here’s to you, Sebastian. Don’t be too diligent for your own good.”

Sebastian looks into his eyes over the rim of his glass, nods politely and smiles like a well-mannered young man knows how to behave but there is a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

“Diligent? You don’t know the word?” Cam asks after taking a sip of his wine.

He’s right. “No”, Sebastian answers, smiling apologetically.

“Hard-working. Thorough. Dutiful. You do everything to the point.” Cam points at him with his glass again. “And that’s great. You do it on top of natural talent and it makes you a real asset for us. Just don’t forget to live. I hope you know how to let loose.”

Sebastian lets out a chuckle. He spins on his stool from side to side and catches Cam’s eyes with his, looks at him intently with a hint of mischief in his smile.

“I hope _you_ know that I know how to let loose”, he says and keeps looking at Cam until the goaltender feels his earlobes warming up; the pretty kid is not making him blush, is he?

Cam sprinkles a little olive oil, salt and pepper over the meat. He gets a plastic bottle out of the fridge and squirts some dressing over the food in stripes. It’s a shortcut, he’s not going to waste time with whisking a hand-made mayo with nice balsamico when he’s got some decent stuff ready in his fridge.

“That looks good”, Sebastian says and points at the plate.

Cam smiles at him. “You look good”, he replies and makes Sebastian laugh softly.

Sebastian smells his wine, takes a good sip, lets it set in his mouth, taking in the flavor. Cam likes watching it. He likes the smile that spreads on Sebastian’s face from within, lighting it up slowly.

“This is good”, Sebastian says.

Cam smiles a pleased smile at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Is it yours?” Sebastian asks.

Cam shakes his head. “No. But it’s one of my favorites. We do Cabernets but this made me think of you.”

“Why?”

Cam takes the bottle and his glass handily in one hand, picks up a fork from a drawer and balances it and the plate in the other hand. “I’ll tell you in the living room”, he says, nodding his head to its direction.

 

Sebastian’s glass is almost empty when they sit down on the couch. Cam refills it on the coffee table and hands it back to Sebastian.

“Taste it again”, he says. Sebastian does as he’s told and looks at Cam expectantly. Cam takes a sip from his glass.

“It’s a fairly young Pinot Noir. It’s fresh, soft and silky at first but it has real depth. The more you taste it the more it’s electric and exciting and multifaceted”, he says.

Sebastian’s knee presses to the side of his hip, the boy sits on the couch legs crossed, bare feet on the plush cushions. Cam takes another sip of his glass, places it on the coffee table, cups the knee pressed to him with his hand, leans closer, catches Sebastian’s eyes with his gaze and smiles. “But most of all, it tastes so fucking good and once I crack the bottle open I can’t get enough.”

Wine has stained the middle of Sebastian’s lips purple, and when he kisses Cam without hesitation, slowly and softly, he tastes of red wine and it beats yesterday night’s banana and milk by a million.

 

They share Cam’s carpaccio. Or, Sebastian eats more than his share and Cam is more than pleased to feed it to him, to watch how Sebastian appreciates the tender raw meat.

“You like it?” Cam checks and Sebastian nods enthusiastically, mouth full.

“Yes, very much”, he says once he’s chewed and swallowed the latest bite he has taken from Cam’s fork. “I’ve had this made of reindeer before but this is even better, it was drier, more chewy. And it was a pricey restaurant where they served it.” He takes another slice with his fingers from the plate and licks the dressing off his fingertips. “And I mean _really_ pricey, since it was in Finland.”

Cam nods, reassured. “Okay. I believe you”, he says and pecks Sebastian on the lips. They taste like the dressing, and the beef, and he wants the Pinot Noir taste back so he fills Sebastian’s glass again, pours the last drops from the bottle holding it bottom up, that one went down surprisingly fast.

Sebastian giggles. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Cam raises his eyebrows and smiles. “Are you drunk?”

Sebastian giggles again. “Not really.”

Cam shrugs lopsidedly with one shoulder, he keeps the other one steady because he holds his glass in that hand and takes a sip. “Well if I am, I’m not succeeding, then.”

Sebastian tilts his head from side to side like testing how it feels. “Maybe I am a little tipsy.”

Cam laughs softly. “Now you’re just humoring me.”

Sebastian takes a notable gulp from his glass, puts it on the table and leans forward to hug Cam. “Aww, no. Am not. Honestly.”

Cam tilts his head inside the circle of Sebastian’s arms, chases the lips with his own, catches them and uses his tongue to sweep Sebastian’s mouth into a kiss.

Sebastian joins in, eyes closed and mouth alive, it’s wet and tight and dizzying and tastes like wine and salt and promises.

 

“Are you a slutty drunk?” Cam asks when he parts for breath, leaning his forehead to Sebastian’s, a soft laugh accompanying his question, like softening the words.

“You have to test me”, Sebastian replies, looking upwards at him from under his lashes.

Cam tilts his head back and looks at Sebastian with narrowed eyes. “That calls for another bottle”, he says and gets up from the couch.

Sebastian follows him, half surprised by the steadiness of his steps, maybe Cam is right, a couple of more glasses won’ t hurt him.

Cam heads for the cellar; the cabinet in the kitchen doesn’t hold too many bottles.

The door opens smoothly, Sebastian follows Cam down the narrow winding staircase. It’s cool down there, he folds his arms in front of his chest, tucks his hands in the T-shirt sleeves, lifts his bare feet up one at the time from the stone floor, curling his toes. Cam glances at him and smiles: Sebastian reminds him of a bird trying to keep warm in a snowstorm.

“You’re getting cold, boy! Get back upstairs”, Cam commands.

“I’m fine”, Sebastian protests and steps closer, pressing his front with the folded arms to Cam’s warm back, standing on one foot, the other foot on top of the other.

Cam takes the bottle he was looking for from a shelf and puts it down on an old cask that serves as a serving table and turns around to face Sebastian who is quite clearly trying to keep from shivering.

“I thought you were from an arctic town”, he says and rubs Sebastian’s upper arms through the T-shirt sleeves.

“I prefer the climate here”, Sebastian answers.

Cam keeps a grip of Sebastian’s bicep and runs the fingers of his other hand through Sebastian’s hair. “Sure you do.”

And the back of Sebastian’s head fits so easily in his hand, and his lips melt so easily in another kiss. _I don’t want this to end,_ he thinks, and Sebastian whispers into his mouth _me neither_ , and he thinks _shit, did I say it out loud?_

 

Walking back to the living room Cam thinks he could get used to this. He could easily get the rooming arrangements changed for away games.

He would wine and dine Sebastian in the best restaurants of all NHL franchise towns they play. Secluded private booths, or better, the best table in front of everyone, to show off his cute lover to the world, touch his wrist on the table, the nape of his neck leaving the place together, for any stranger to know that this beauty is his to have and hold.

And would he have and hold him in the hotel room, oh boy. They’d fuck through the night, and he knows the team would know to keep their mouths shut. During his years he has seen enough shit happening on the road that never reached the light of day back home in Raleigh.

It would be their thing, his and Sebastian’s. It would make travelling new and exciting again, give a new sense of purpose to the road trips. Make them worth it even when he knew he would not be starting.

 

Sebastian glances at a large decorative clock on the wall as he sits down on the couch and looks suddenly worried. It’s midnight. He frowns like he’s thinking hard.

 “It’s Father’s day”, Sebastian says.

“What are you talking about? It’s not Father’s day. Father’s day is in the summer” Cam says, sitting down next to him and handing him his glass.

Sebastian takes a sip and shakes his head.

“In Finland it’s today. Second Sunday of November. It’s Sunday in Finland. Is it?” Sebastian looks confused for a moment. “We are behind here”, he mutters, apparently to convince himself he remembers the time zones right.

“Do you want to call your father?” Cam asks cautiously. “Or skype? I mean, I think you can use your own Skype ID on my computer, we can figure it out.”

Sebastian purses his lips and shakes his head slowly. “No thank you. It’s still early.”

He calculates it’s seven in the morning over there. It’s true it’s early.

Like it was the real reason he hesitates to make the call now.

His dad might be up, and even if Sebastian woke him up he’d be happy to hear about him.  It’s just – Sebastian can’t, he doesn’t know what he would say, he can’t afford to slip out any wrong things about where he is and why, he’ll have to be sober, think it through in advance.

“I’ll do it in the morning”, he says.

Cam nods. “Okay. Don’t forget. He’ll want to hear about you.”

Sebastian flashes a weak smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, the corners of his lips curl upwards like out of a reflex. He takes a big gulp of his wine and hikes his curled legs over Cam’s thighs, on his lap. Cam rubs them with his hand: the skin is cool, the bare toes still cold from the trip to the cellar, but Cam has ways to warm them up.

He puts his glass on the table and leans in to his side. He guessed it right, Sebastian was already expecting a kiss, his serious cute face reaching up, almost desperately, like a flower to the sun.

And Cam loves the taste of wine on his lips and tongue, his own this time, the Cabernet Sauvignon based blend that is sold out in stores.

 

Cam lets his hand slip under Sebastian’s shirt, touches his waistline. The muscles under his hand flex; Sebastian curls himself up easily, straddles Cam’s lap in one fluid turn, not even spilling a drop from the glass. Sebastian leans back enough to take a sip, looking Cam in the eye above the rim of the glass, and then he leans even further back to put the glass on the table behind him. Cam lets his hand rest under Sebastian’s shirt the whole time, enjoying the feeling of controlled muscles working under the satin smooth skin.

Cam has never been big on going to strip clubs but he can surely appreciate a good lap dance when he’s about to receive one.

He slides his other hand up Sebastian’s thigh under the shorts. It’s nice that he chose to borrow his clothes, they hang nicely loose on him, make exploring his body accessible and easy.

Sebastian shifts in his lap. He keeps leaning back, his ass presses down on Cam’s crotch. The thighs inch into a wider spread, inviting Cam’s sliding hand further. Cam’s fingers hit the crease of his groin, no underpant seam there, just room to roam. Next is the thin, soft, wrinkly skin of the scrotum, then the smooth surface of the dick, already hardened in anticipation, it bulges against the soft brushed cotton jersey of the grey sweatshorts.

“I’m out of underwear”, Sebastian whispers apologetically.

“I’m glad you are”, Cam hums to him through an aroused smile.

The ass above his crotch makes a subtle movement sideways, like Sebastian was nuzzling to find a spot where Cam’s dick fits between his buttocks through the layers of cloth.

He’s so responsive under Cam’s hands, breathes hard and bucks his hips upward when Cam curls his fingers around his cock inside the shorts, gasps and hisses when Cam’s hand moves up under his shirt, the fingertips meeting a perky nipple, playing with it, moving across the chest to fiddle with the other one.

They pebble hard and round when Cam brushes his hand over them, one at the time, palm ghosting over them under the shirt. Sebastian breathes superficially in anticipation, Cam feels his stomach rise and descend against his wrist and forearm. The gasps get louder whenever Cam really touches him, a gentle squeeze draws a whimper out of the parted lips.

Cam pinches sharper to hear a sharper moan. He gets what he asked for, and the sound makes his cock twitch under Sebastian’s ass. Sebastian responds to his unspoken need by grinding down nice and tight, the zipper of Cam’s pants is the only unnecessary part of the equation right now, its metal teeth wouldn’t have to press his shaft so hard under the hard round buttocks squirming in his lap, but the pain is not unbearable. He can go on for a moment.

Cam slides his hand out of the leg of Sebastian’s shorts and grabs them by the waistband. He yanks them down in front, revealing the erect cock, it resist at first, bending under the elastic band but pops out to stand upwards. Cam brushes the hem of the white T-shirt up Sebastian’s hard, flat stomach with the other hand, just to look how hard he breathes, how the plain of his abs lives and undulates as Cam strokes his cock.

Sebastian just takes in his handling, supports himself to his hands on Cam’s thighs, arches his hips up to push his cock to Cam’s hand, licks his open lips like he doesn’t know he’s doing it, eyes closed. Occasional moans escape his mouth when Cam’s hand hits the right spot. For a brief moment of clarity, he seems to come back to his head, regaining enough willpower to pull himself upwards and undress the T-shirt over his head.

“If you want to use this to cover the couch… I don’t mind”, he breathes through loud panting. Cam stops stroking, leaves his hand in a loose circle around the shaft, slowing down to a teasing lazy crawl.

“Not that fast, baby”, he says, a sly smile surfacing on his face. Sebastian sits up straight on his lap and gives him a look that may be meant to be menacing but ends up plain out horny.

“Oh please”, Sebastian huffs with an impatient riding movement.

Cam lets go of his cock and moves his hands to Sebastian’s buttocks, still half covered with the shorts. “Oh yeah?” he asks teasingly. “Getting antsy?”

Sebastian leans forward, his exposed dick is now pressing to Cam’s through the pants, he leans to the back of the couch with one hand, cups Cam’s narrow jawline with the other, the tip of his thumb brushes Cam’s bottom lip.

“I said please”, he murmurs at Cam’s face. “I asked nicely.” He presses a soft kiss on Cam’s lips. “Nicely.”

Cam chuckles. “In that case”, he says, wraps his arms firmly around Sebastian’s back, hands supporting his ass, digs his heels in the carpet, steels his legs and stands up, “Let’s go.”

Sebastian lets out a surprised giggle when Cam lifts him up but finds his balance quickly, steadying his legs around Cam’s waist. He’s even adventurous enough to hang from Cam’s neck with one arm and reach down with the other hand, sweeping along the wine bottle from the coffee table.

Cam grunts at him.

“A wild one, are you?” he murmurs as the glass bottle pounds to his shoulder blades. Well, it’s the steadier option, he realizes, when the next moment Sebastian swings the bottle over Cam’s shoulder, almost sweeping his ear, and swigs from it.

If Cam has to struggle to keep his balance he doesn’t let it show. He doesn’t stop even once before he reaches the guest bedroom door.

When Cam tries to decide which hand he should use on the doorknob or if he should ask Sebastian to step down, or just drop him down, Sebastian takes another swig of Cam’s wine and with soft determination presses his closed lips on Cam’s.

Cam settles in the kiss, feels Sebastian guide his lips apart with his own, and the next thing he knows is the cool liquid streaming in his mouth. It drips from the corners of his lips because he wasn’t prepared but he lets it, swallows down the most and deepens the kiss. Sebastian’s mouth tastes intoxicating, Cam finally finds the doorknob he’s groping around for, pushes them inside the room, flounders the few remaining steps and practically throws the half-naked forward on the bed.

 

Sebastian lands on his ass and somehow manages to keep the bottle upright, spilling only a few drops before he covers the bottle opening with his thumb. He places the bottle meticulously on the nightstand and leans back down on the bed because Cam bows down over him and gently presses him to the sheets by his shoulder.

Cam runs his hand down his chest and stomach, grabs his shorts by the hem of their legs pulls them down, all the way, drops them on the floor.

“Let me look at you”, Cam says softly and crawls to the bed, brackets Sebastian on all fours over him, still fully clothed in his dress shirt and pants. He leans to one hand, runs the other one through Sebastian’s hair, down his neck, one finger stopping on the dip between his collarbones, briefly, like for breath, dragging over the chain on Sebastian’s neck, and goes on down.

Sebastian looks up in his eyes, chest heaving. The light in the room is dim, it comes in from the side, from the hallway, and Sebastian’s eyes gleam dark and clear, suddenly serious, anticipating.

He lifts his hands to reach Cam’s shirt, starts unbuttoning it carefully, one, two, three.

Cam takes his hand. “Stop”, he says and guides it gently down on the bed next to Sebastian’s head, rubbing the palm with his thumb.  “Let me”.

He untucks the shirt but doesn’t go on unbuttoning it. Instead he leans in to kiss Sebastian on the cheek, brushes Sebastian’s hair back with his hand and gives another kiss behind his ear; kisses his neck, down the side to the front; he sucks the skin where it curves into a dip above the collarbone.

Sebastian rewards him with heavy husky breath, squirming needily under his kisses, whining softly when Cam sucks his skin hard enough to scrape it with his teeth.

Dried purple drops of wine blot Sebastian’s chest, Cam licks over them wherever he spots them in the murky room and draws lovely gasps out of Sebastian’s mouth. He notices some was spilled on his arm and hand, too, and makes a sidetour there, only to come back to kissing Sebastian’s stomach.

He relishes the little moans of pleasure that Sebastian breaths out, the more the lower Cam kisses him. Cam slides his hand under Sebastian’s thigh, caresses the crease where it meets his ass, and feels the boy writhe between his body and his hand. “Wardo _please_ just touch me”, he moans impatiently.

Cam lifts his face and and gives Sebastian an amused look. “You’re calling me Wardo in bed”, he says.

“I’ll call you anything. Sir if you want”, Sebastian huffs. Cam shifts on the bed, yanks Sebastian’s legs apart, gets between them. “Feisty. You don’t have to, baby”, he says and gives a wet suckling kiss on Sebastian’s inner thigh.

Sebastian is done keeping his hands idle and fumbles for his cock. Cam doesn’t protest, he can let the kid indulge in this the way he pleases, it’s been quite hot to see and hear him lose his inhibitions and it will be nice to see where he’s headed.

Cam positions himself comfortably, spreads and lifts Sebastian’s thighs with rough hands and digs in. He opens his mouth wide, licks the ballsack, closes his lips around it and Sebastian _yells_. It’s a loud _“yes”_ first that shifts to some unintelligible blabber that is probably Finnish swearwords, and breaks and melts into panted syllables, yelps and moans.

He leaves the balls, wet with saliva, moves down with his mouth, all the way between the exposed, spread buttocks. The ass is just as pretty and neat as he pictured and Sebastian’s thighs shake in his grip, that’s so good, he’s got his boy riding on a sex high, the growling moan he hears as he seals his lips around the breathing, fluttering hole makes his own pants feel very cramped.

“Oh _fuck._ Oh. _Ooh GOD._ ” Sebastian is loud, his voice varies erratically from whines and growls to shouting. He shivers and trembles, tries to trash about but Cam holds him in place as he mercilessly teases him with his tongue.

Cam notices he’s sweating, the wool fabric of his trouses starts to feel itchy, okay, he promises to himself, he’s going to get them off soon.

He lifts his head to see Sebastian eyes closed, purple cockhead shiny with leaked clear liquid, stomach and chest heaving with deep breaths, fists clenched in pillows beside his head, squeezing the fabric of the pillowcases into small sweaty balls; he’s blushed pink up to his earlobes.

Cam wets his little finger in his mouth, pushes it in to the first knuckle.

“Oh fuck, yess”, Sebastian pants out.

“You want?” Cam prompts.

“Oh yeah, Cam. Fuck me. Right now.”

The words come out in husky, labored huffs but that’s only better, it’s lovely to have the young man so hungry for it.

The lube is on the bed, Cam grabs it first, peels off his pants, underwear and socks in one go and settles on his knees between Sebastian’s legs. It takes little to prep him, he’s so ready.

 

Sebastian watches as Cam tears his shirt open, the remaining buttons pop undone. He pushes the sides of the front back and pulls Sebastian’s thighs over his own.

Sebastian lets his body be pulled, lifted, handled. He likes the look of their goalie like that, still partly dressed in his sharp white shirt, heated red patches on his face in the dim lighting, lips pressed together like he knows what he’s doing and c’mon, he does, he’s nearly made Sebastian come already with his mouth.

The blunt head on his rim, he wants it so much but still yelps on the sudden impact, Cam looks concerned but is apparently convinced he’s okay. It’s wild, to feel so split and torn and how it merges seamlessly into nothing but full and GOOD, and better, so fucking much better. “Oh _please_ ”, he moans, and Cam gets it right, drives in hard, it all feels so good, the firm warm hand steadying his waistline, the coarse hair of the thighs under his ass, the other hand stroking his chest, his throat. He’s been aroused, teased, fondled for what feels like hours, he feels the throbbing, the almost electric whirr in his cock. If he doesn’t touch it, he’ll hold up, and this will last forever because he wants it to.

But the pressure climbs up and he just… dissolves.

 

“I can stop, babe”, Cam says, that concerned gaze again.

“No, please, you gotta fuck me, just keep fuckin me”, Sebastian breaths out, drops of cum scattered over his stomach, pooling under the twitching dick resting on his skin. Cam does as he’s told, and more, he takes a hold behind Sebastian’s knee, lifts one leg up against his chest, foot over his shoulder, as far as he can make it bend. The boy hisses a “ _oh yes”_ , clearly not oversensitive or needing rest, Cam dares to give him more, rubs his hand over the slick jizz on Sebastian’s stomach, touches the resting cock with the soiled hand, cradles it and the round balls tenderly.

The cock hardens in his hand, was it like that to be twenty?

Cam jerks it at the same pace with his relentless, accelerating thrusts. Sebastian’s whole pretty face is red from the rush of blood, his head is on the lowest point of his body when Cam holds his ass curled high up to meet his hips. Sebastian whimpers and moans, Cam’s mouth shoots him filthy praises on autopilot, he registers he’s talking but knows he won’t remember a word later. All that matters is the sweet heat squeezing, squelching around his cock, taking him closer.

When he feels it coming, he slams as close into Sebastian as he can, stays there, smashed against his spread buttocks, squeezing the small body to himself from Sebastian’s shoulder, holding Sebastian's cock in his fist.

He sinks to sit on his heels, lets Sebastian’s legs loose on the bed. He gives Sebastian’s cock a few squeezing, twisting tugs, and feels it burst again, there’s something peaceful in it this time, in the way the pearly wide thick semen flows over his curled fingers.

Cam bows down to give Sebastian a kiss, on his forehead, eyelids, his perfect cheekbone, lips.

“If you were a girl I’d have knocked you up already”, he chuckles and pecks Sebastian’s lips again. “We’d be fucking making babies. Gorgeous babies.”

Sebastian smirks at him and lets out a soft raspy giggle. “Are you sure you were awake on your biology classes?” he asks.

Cam finally peels his shirt off and crawls up enough to rest his head on Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian senses the coarse and soft hairs of the short beard on his skin, the weight and size of the warm hand stroking his opposite arm, finding his hand, lacing their fingers together.

Cam glances at the bottle on the nightstand and reaches to turn on a soft nightlight.

“I can’t believe you took the bottle with you.”

Sebastian chuckles. “ _That’s_ the part you don’t believe?”

“And drank straight from the bottle. You’re a savage.”

Sebastian giggles.

“You’re funny.”

“You’re gorgeous.” Cam turns his head and leans up to kiss him. Sebastian kisses him back, his mouth feels dry after the sex but it’s nice to be kissed.

“You must be thirsty. I know I am”, Cam says and rolls out of the bed. He comes back with a tall glass of water and two clean wine glasses.

Sebastian drinks down most of the water, Cam gulps down the rest. He lifts the wine bottle.

“Want to finish this?”

“Okay”, Sebastian nods, Cam divides it evenly to the two glasses.

They lean to the headboard and each other, in drowsy, languid silence. Cam puts his glass away before it’s empty and takes Sebastian’s, too. Sebastian doesn’t protest, lets it softly out of his hand.

“We need sleep,” Cam says softly, infinite warmth in his eyes.

Sebastian shifts down on the bed, digging his head to a pillow. Strands of hair spread around him, the soft side light brings out his even cheekbone and jawline. Cam traces the flawless skin with his fingers, on his side, propped up on his elbow.

“You’re amazing, Sebastian. In everything you are and do.”

Sebastian looks up at him, eyes as wide as ever.

“I love you”, he says.

Cam freezes right there. He sighs. He shifts his weight to back off just barely but just enough to notice, shakes his head, just barely but just enough to notice, and searches for words.

He should reciprocate smoothly, he should already have by now, but how serious is this kid saying something like that, probably too serious because Finns are known to talk very cautiously about their feelings. His head goes blank.

Sebastian looks to the side, bites the corner of his lip.

“I’m sorry”, Cam says, knowing as it rolls out from his lips that it’s the worst possible answer. Sebastian keeps his face turned to the side, crinkles his nose, squeezes his eyes shut.

_Fuck up fuck up fuck up you’re a major major major fuck up_ pounds inside Cam’s skull. He loves the kid, too, who wouldn’t, but that’s what exactly wrong here, he loves Sebastian the way everyone does.

“I love you too”, he whispers weakly, it’s a late save, he knows it from Sebastian’s pursed lips and tightly shut eyes as he reaches over him to turn down the nightlight.

 

<> 

 

A familiar sound wakes Sebastian up. He is disoriented for a second before he recognizes the source of the sound: his phone vibrates on a nightstand, the bubbly alarm indicates a message on the family group chat.

It’s a private message from his brother. _Hotshot asshole, piss too high up in your head to remember father’s day? Just kidding, good game, one point is more than zero._

Sebastian sighs. He finds a towel, wraps it around his waist and wanders down the hall to the living room to look for the shirt he tossed there. Maybe he should just call, no video connection, wouldn’t have to worry about being dressed.

 

But his dad puts on the camera as soon as they have exchanged greetings. He sits at the kitchen table, leans to his elbows, Sebastian can see from the angle he’s on a laptop.

Sebastian slouches down low on the couch and holds the phone close, not to show too much of his surroundings. Luckily the fabric of Wardo’s couch is quite generic and his plain white T-shirt at least appears clean.

“Happy Father’s day. Sorry I didn’t get you anything. I was going to, but – “ Sebastian stops mid-sentence. The truth is, he wanted to send the puck of his first goal of the season to him, but. But. And he didn’t have the time to get anything else when the plan proved to be too optimistic.

“Yeah, right. Like you didn’t pay for the dinner your siblings are taking me to. You think you’re so clever with secrets,” dad says and a warm wave of relief and love washes through Sebastian. God he misses them, nobody ever had his back like his family, nobody ever believed in him no matter what, nobody ever covered for him when he was too focused on hockey to notice anything else.

They chat about hockey, both of their teams. His father points out all the right moves he has seen Sebastian doing in the past few games, keeping his analysis on the positive side. He always does, he’s not the coach, he has the luxury of being nothing but proud and supportive and for a while Sebastian really feels like he could cry.

“Where are you?” dad asks out of the blue. “That doesn’t look like your home. Or you’ve been furniture shopping.”

_Shit._

“Um… a teammate invited us over. I had a few drinks and couldn’t drive home so I stayed overnight.”

There’s no lie technically, is there?

His father knits his brows, just a little, but nods.

“Well I hope they don’t get trouble for giving you alcohol. You’re underage there, you know that.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “Hello! I’m legal in Finland. I mean I can legally buy a bottle of vodka if I want to.” He feels heat creeping up on his cheeks, he hopes he’s not blushing, what he said sounds so stupid.

“Don’t remind me of it,” his dad sighs exaggeratedly, hiding a smirk, and Sebastian shakes his head.

His dad frowns again, this time because his eyes are focused on something. On the screen, Sebastian realizes.

“Who did you say invited you over?” dad asks. Sebastian knows he didn’t say it.

“Cam Ward,” he says quickly, hesitation wouldn’t sound casual.

“Oh, nice. Did you meet his kids?”

“Um.. no, no. His family was away for the weekend.” Is he in trouble now? “I guess that’s why he wanted to have the guys over,” he hurries to add, uncertain of whether it makes it better or worse.

His dad nods, sighs, looks at the camera. “Sebastian,” he says and pauses. He seldom uses his full name, it’s for special occasions or telling him off. “Take care of yourself, okay? You know I love you. You’re so independent and I’m always been proud of it. But you’re always our son, alright? We’ve always got your back. This is always your home. If you ever need, no matter what reason, you can always come back home. Always. You know that? Or if you need us over to be there, for any reason, just say it and we’ll arrange it, me or mom. Or both.”

Sebastian is speechless. He nods, silent and numb. He’d like to wave it off, make a joke of his dad giving him quite a father’s day speech but words get stuck in his throat.

“I know,” he says finally.

“Good. Take care, Sebastian. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Sebastian says and realizes he means it. It’s almost a physical ache, thinking of all of them together in his childhood home, the laughs, the hugs, the inside jokes. “Have a fun day.”

 

He stares at the phone blindly after the aerial connection to Oulu has closed. Then he taps on the selfie camera to see what caught his father’s eye.

A huge hickey above the T-shirt collar and another one half peeking from it. Great. They stand out on the pale skin and are unmistakable to anyone who knows he wasn’t hit by anything in the neck during the game.

How has his life come to this?

Sebastian strolls back. The guest bedroom door is closed, he hears Cam talking. He can’t make out the words but can tell from the tone of his voice, from the pitch, the speed, when he talks to his kids, when to his wife.

He takes a turn to the bathroom, showers alone, takes a bathrobe from a rack. It’s fluffy and thick and big enough to cover his knuckles and knees.

 

Sebastian cracks the door open cautiously, sneaks silently back in the room, curls up in an armchair and watches Cam who is finishing his call.

“I love you,” Cam says to the phone, eyes intently on Sebastian.

Sebastian would love to indulge in the romantic foolery of the words being pointed at him but won’t. Even if they were, it’s too late.

Cam puts his phone down and comes to him, puts his hands on the armrests, leans in for a kiss. Cam makes it hungry, relentless, Sebastian’s head produces a load of snarky remarks like _is this the mouth you talk to your wife with_ or just plain out _I hate you, you cheating piece of shit_ but he’s too turned on by everything they’ve had, his mind floods with sensory and visual memories, skin on skin, beard scratches on his inner thighs, hips spanking his ass, so he doesn’t break the kiss to say a word.

This is them saying goodbye, he wants to take what he can from it.

Cam opens his robe, goes down on him, sucks him off deep and good, Sebastian studies every detail of the face on his cock in the late morning light beaming in through the blinders. Cam kisses him with lips that taste of his own cum, it feels more obscene in the daytime but he enjoys it, and he forgets to say anything snarky.

Instead he says that Cam has to get him to his car today.

“I will,” Cam says and nods seriously.

Then the corners of his eyes curl into a warm smile. “But first I’ll make us a huge breakfast.”

 

<> 

 

Sebastian feels scruffy walking around the corner to the yard of his apartment building, the dress shirt is wrinkled and tacky with stale sweat, the carry-on strap chafes his shoulder.

_“Huomenta!”_ he hears a Finnish greeting from up above, why does Teuvo Teräväinen have to be out on the balcony at this exact moment? Besides, it isn’t morning any more.

“Doing the walk of shame on this fine Sunday afternoon, it’s Sebastian Aho!” Teuvo shouts gleefully.

It takes a moment to process until Sebastian realizes his friend is not doing his play-by-play announcer imitation in their safe secret language, Finnish, but has changed to English that anybody within hearing distance can understand. When the realization hits him, he picks up the pace and runs quickly inside.

He was going home but instead he barges in Teuvo’s apartment and tries to tackle his fellow Finn to his living room floor. Teuvo overbalances from the shove and saves himself from falling by slouching down on the couch. Sebastian slumps to his side, glaring at him.

“What the fuck was that? You want everybody to hear that shit?”

Teuvo laughs.

“Did you see anybody out there, Sepe?”

Sebastian rolls up to sit higher and slaps Teuvo lightly on the forehead with his fingers. “Asshole.”

Teuvo smooths his hair where Sebastian has hit him and looks at him poignantly. “Come on. You’re not trying to bullshit me by telling you were not anywhere? You’ve had that same game day suit for two nights in a row now. I’ve never seen you in a suit the next morning if we’ve played home.”

Sebastian glances at his attire. “Yeah, you’re right. I should go and change,” he says and looks ready to get up. Teuvo stops him placing his hand on Sebastian’s chest and lets out a warning noise.

“You’re not going anywhere”, he says. “So, where were you? I saw you leaving with Wardo after we came back from Columbus. Did you go out to a bar or something? Have you picked up some hottie?”

Sebastian collects his thoughts for a while. “He didn’t take me out,” he says eventually.

“So..?” Teuvo prompts. Sebastian just looks at him steadily. Teuvo raises his eyebrows, and Sebastian turns to look away, bites the corners of his lips to hide a chuckle.

“You didn’t. Sepe, no.”

Sebastian wiggles his eyebrows and Teuvo makes a vomiting gesture.

“Isn’t he like… married? And have kids?”

“Well, they weren’t there.”

Teuvo rolls his eyes. “You’re disgusting.”

“Thanks.” Sebastian punches his bicep. Teuvo sighs, looks at Sebastian’s disheveled appearance from head to toe in silence.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks eventually. Teuvo’s compassionate frown looks genuinely worried.

Sebastian leans his head to the large backrest cushions and looks pensively at the ceiling.

“I don’t know if I’m doing anything.”

Teuvo casts a slow look at him. “Yeah right. You go radio silent for a weekend to do nothing.”

Sebastian bites his lip and worries with a loose thread on his shirt button.

“Don’t pick it like that. It will unravel”, Teuvo warns sharply. Sebastian sighs, lets go of the button and folds his arms under his head.

“Sepe, he could be your dad.”

Sebastian bursts out a laughter. “Idiot! He couldn’t. He’s only thirteen years older.”

“Thirteen is over half of your age.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I’m twenty. We’re both adults.”

It’s Teuvo’s turn to roll his eyes. He rubs his hands together idly and gives Sebastian another once-over, this time apparently spotting the hickey. He looks at it with a cautious sneer and lifts his gaze to Sebastian’s eyes.

“So you really did it? He just took you home and fucked you for two days and nights?”

Sebastian sighs. “It wasn’t just sex. He’s really cool. Sweet and… caring.” His voice mutes down to a near-whisper in the end.

“So it’s all good?” Teuvo prompts.

Sebastian sighs again, looking uneasy. ”I think I fucked up. I said it to him. I said I loved him. I don’t know what came into me. I could see he was taken aback. He tried to be cool about it and said he loves me too but... you know, there was this moment when I saw that it really fucked him up.” He purses his lips after the confession to hide the memory from the embarrassment.

Teuvo whistles. “Oh boy. That’s harsh.”  He shrugs and gives Sebastian an apologetic, empathic look. “You don’t drop the L-bomb to married men. Sorry.”

“Since when are you a gay adultery expert?” Sebastian huffs at him.

“Ever since I met your father.”

“Haha. Not funny.”

”You’re right. It isn’t. It isn’t funny.” Teuvo looks at Sebastian’s moping face. “You can end up hurting people. For real.”

Sebastian slouches lower on the couch. Teuvo nudges his shoulder gingerly.

“But hey, Seppo, I’m not blaming you here. Sorry if it sounds like I am. It’s Ward who should know better. He should be the responsible one. I mean, he’s the one with the family. And between the two of you, he’s the older one. He’s the one who’s been around. And I mean, around _here_. In the team. He shouldn’t use it to – “

Sebastian cuts him off. “Nobody’s using me!” he huffs, heated pink patches suddenly burning on his cheeks in a very unusual way. ”Fuck, he hasn’t drawn me into anything I didn’t want. I went there because _I_ wanted. And it was great.” He darts a flaming gaze at Teuvo. “He. Was. _Good_. Why do you think I stayed for two nights?”

Teuvo turns his face away. In discomfort, disbelief, disapproval, maybe all, maybe something completely different that Sebastian is unable to read at the moment.

“He still sounds like kind of an asshole here. Excuse me but he does. We both know why you aren’t there for the third night.”

Sebastian shakes his head slowly, to Teuvo, to himself, to the whole situation, Teuvo doesn’t know. He sighs.

“What are you going to do now?” he asks Sebastian. “Are you going to keep this up?”

Sebastian shrugs. “I don’t know. We didn’t talk about it. He said earlier he doesn’t want it to end.”

He blushes and hopes he hadn’t said the last bit, it sounds so naïve out loud. Teuvo ratifies his feeling with a tired look.

“So you’re like his little concubine now?” the fellow Finn asks. Sebastian is too mortified to come up with an answer.

Teuvo nudges his elbow but Sebastian just looks ahead, sulking. Teuvo wraps an arm across his friend’s shoulders and draws him to a clumsy side-hug. “I’m sorry, Sepe”, he mutters into Sebastian’s hair. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. I’m afraid you will be and it sucks. I’m on your side here. Okay?”

Sebastian nods his head in Teuvo’s embrace. He feels he’s tearing up again, he hates it, two days in a row now he’s crying like a baby that he never usually is. This time he fights back the tears, swallows down the bitter hard lump in his throat, blinks his eyes repeatedly to dry out any signs of emotion trying to escape.

Teuvo breaks from the hug, looks intently at Sebastian.

“I really appreciate it that you told me. Please keep talking to me. Will you?”

Sebastian nods again. “Yeah”, he says quietly.

Teuvo nods to him and smiles reassuringly. “That’s settled, then”, he says, rubbing his hands together, “And now to the dirty details, right?”

Sebastian shoves his friend’s arm. “You wish!” he giggles.

 

<> 

 

“Stop that!”

“What?”

Sebastian has to hiss at Teuvo who keeps darting suspicious glares at Wardo in the locker room whenever the goalie looks the other way. Monday morning skate is about to begin.

“Giving those looks. He’s the same guy as before.”

Saying it doesn’t make it true, though. The reality is that nothing is as before.

Sebastian has never paid that much attention to Cam’s family watching the father’s practice or games and now he can’t think of anything else when he notices the trio in the stands, down by the ice. He has to steel himself to focus on listening to the instructions, pay extra attention to keep his eyes at the puck, force himself to feel his body work as he skates because in the back of his mind he senses them all the time, it’s like a radar that can’t be turned off.

It’s a queasy twist in his stomach, a knot between his throat and chest. The feeling of being second place, replaced. It’s ridiculous, he knows, he had no place to begin with.

He needs to get over it.

 

Sebastian circles in front of the seats. Cam starts to notice it from the corner of his eye, how Sebastian skates a bit closer to the side every time he passes the boards.

He starts to make an eye contact to the kids on each round, his smile growing wider when the kids start paying attention to him, waving or clapping when he comes around.

Cam watches over from his goal, fully aware that he can’t stop it from happening in any way. Hell, he has no excuse to interrupt the contact.

Why should he?

He tries to tell himself there’s no reason to feel that way. His kids have always been fascinated by the young players of his team, why deny it now?

His uneasy gut feeling, getting wary and nervous, isn’t reason enough. It’s only something he’s deserved; something he has to learn to live with.

He needs to get over it.

 

<> 

 

The puck doesn’t go an inch wide, it doesn’t ping from the goalpost, it isn’t caught in the goaltender’s glove or pads.

It’s in the net.

Sebastian glides behind the goal, round the corner, on one skate, letting out one continuous yell, shouting out a month’s worth of pent up frustration. 

 

Cam hears the scream all the way to the bench, the raw outburst of pure primal emotion. His body recognizes it instantly, it sends a giant tumble to the pit of his belly, an electric shock to his groin.

Not a day has gone by that he hasn’t been getting off remembering how it sounds, and oh fuck, as much as he’d like to say that he never will again, he knows he would be kidding himself.

But he says to himself that it is, like the roar of a lion, safest heard from a distance.

 

<end>

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I got a little discouraged in the middle of the writing process. I assume this kind of story - I mean mainly with the use of wags/ children / non- famous family - is on the uncomfortable side of fan fiction to some readers, and the lack of comments made me feel a little lost and alone as a writer. 
> 
> Now that the story is finished and out there, I would really appreciate it if you, reader, could share your thoughts of my work with me.
> 
> Wish to read more? Click the "next work" link below for the sequel, Pinot Blanc.
> 
> ~♡~


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